Almost Fooled...

May 10, 2023

I realize that it has been over a month since I last posted a blog. Did nothing happen? No, it was a very busy April. I have so much to write about; however, I felt as though I did not have time. When you are in the thick of it, so to speak, you have your head down and are paying attention to your fullest extent. I should have been writing every single day because April was that busy.

The main conception that I attempted during April was providing space. I literally just tried to allow my loved one to have their own space, to come to me when they needed anything, and to feel empowered on their own. Did that work? Nope. Not at all. However, it did give me a break.

During that month, I noticed my loved one was proud of all they had accomplished. The issue with that? They are doing it at the expense of their own health. Am I going to confront that? Yes and no.

My loved one wants to be independent. Confronting them will be counterintuitive for that goal. So while I encourage them to not lift heavy boxes or remind them to not use their "good" leg to move things out of their way, I am trying my absolute hardest to do so softly. I do not want them to lose that independent streak, but I do know their limitations mentally and physically. Even though they have not accepted that having a new hip equates to taking care of themself better and doing less manual labor, I cannot take away their will power to do things for themself.

The cost to doing this is that their other hip has started hurting, and they are once again displaying behaviors of pain, exhaustion, more fatigue, and worsened forgetfulness. The motivation ends when pain begins. It is hard to watch, but it is something that I have no control over.

You will find that you have no control over situations like this. The generation that my loved one comes from is highly independent, especially with their home life. It is worsened when there is pain and even more so when they do not understand how to accept help or work well with others.